Or: How a Shattered Screen Saved My Soul from Digital Zombiehood Let me paint you a picture: I’m standing in a Target parking lot at 11 PM, soaked in cold sweat and the fluorescent glow of a malfunctioning streetlight, cradling my smartphone like a dying animal. Its once-pristine screen is now a spiderweb of destruction, … Read more
Why I’m Glad I Lost That Job (And What I Found Instead) Or: How Getting Fired Over a Rubber Chicken Led Me to My Actual Purpose Let me set the scene: I was sobbing into a burrito bowl in my car while rain lashed the windshield, mascara streaking my face like a sad raccoon warrior. … Read more
Or: How Faceplanting in Front of 200 People Became My Superpower Look, I wouldn’t describe myself as “brave.” Brave is firefighters running into burning buildings. Brave is telling your barista their name spelling is wildly incorrect. Me? I used to get heart palpitations ordering pizza over the phone. My idea of courage was wearing slightly … Read more
The Day My PowerPoint Apocalypse Got Me Promoted (No, Seriously) Look, I’ve made some questionable life choices. I once tried to cut my own bangs during a Zoom meeting (mute button was my only savior). I dated a guy solely because his dog had a perpetually judgmental face that made me laugh. But my absolute … Read more
— And How to Dodge Them Like a Pro That first brokerage account feels equal parts thrilling and terrifying, doesn’t it? You finally hit “open account,” see that dashboard full of numbers and charts, and suddenly… freeze. Where do I even click? What if I lose it all? Is this stock a sure thing? I … Read more
Okay, let’s talk about something real. You open your retirement statement, or maybe you finally plug your numbers into one of those online calculators. The result stares back. It feels… smaller than it should. A lot smaller. Maybe panic flutters in your chest. “How did I get here?” “Is it even possible now?” “Do I … Read more
Your Real Reader:Meet Sarah. She’s 38, works in marketing, and started investing five years ago. She contributes regularly to her 401(k) and a brokerage account but hasn’t touched them since setting them up. Recently, she logged in and panicked: Her 70% stock / 30% bond split had morphed into 88% stocks after a bull market … Read more
That gut-churning moment. You finally transfer $500 into your brokerage account, hover over the “Buy” button on an index fund… and freeze. What if the market crashes tomorrow? What if I lose it all? Across the kitchen table, your partner sips coffee, oblivious. “It’s only $500,” they say. But it’s not just the money. It’s … Read more
You check your brokerage app after a rough market week and see your “quick win” investment down 18%. Panic sets in. Do I sell now to stop the bleeding? Or double down hoping for a rebound? Meanwhile, your retirement account—untouched for months—quietly added shares while prices dipped. You barely noticed. This tug-of-war between chasing immediate … Read more
How to Create a Simple Investment Plan for Retirement (Even If You’re Starting Late or Feel Clueless) That envelope. You know the one. It arrives quarterly, emblazoned with your 401(k) provider’s logo. You glance at the balance, feel a vague twinge of anxiety, then shove it in the “Important Docs” drawer – unopened. Or maybe … Read more