Confession: Last Tuesday, I texted my group chat a photo of a slightly less wilted houseplant with the caption: “POV: YOU’RE LOOKING AT THE CEO OF NOT KILLING A FICUS!! 🥳🎉” Five minutes later, my friends showed up at my door with a $3.99 grocery store cake that said “HAPPY BIRTHDAY, STEPHANIE!” (my name’s Chloe) … Read more
Okay, picture this: It’s 7:03 AM. My alarm, set for 6:15, is currently laughing at me from the floor where I hurled it twenty minutes ago. My hair? Let’s just say it’s achieved a level of ‘sentient bedhead’ usually reserved for cartoon characters struck by lightning. I’m doing that frantic one-legged hop dance trying to … Read more
And Why Your Brain is Begging for This Shit Look, I wasn’t just having bad mornings. I WAS a bad morning.A walking, talking, coffee-stained embodiment of existential dread wrapped in yesterday’s sweatpants. My pre-8 AM life wasn’t a routine; it was a hostage situation broadcast live from the warzone of my nervous system. Picture this, … Read more